Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
