tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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