now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
