Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
