i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
