The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
