On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
