WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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