I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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