The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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