I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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