there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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