this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
