Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
