Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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