I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
