Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
