I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
