I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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