I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
