Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize