If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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