Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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