just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
