Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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