remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
