I think I won the penis lottery.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
