I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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