All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
