I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
