in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
