I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
