I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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