Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
