just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i've created a new STD.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
