Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
