im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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