i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
