Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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