She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
