If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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