Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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