he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
