I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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