I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i love accidental penises.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
