P.S. I can't hear my feet
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
