glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
