Kiss
Puke
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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