i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
