Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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