Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
