thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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