bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
