drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
