He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
