a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
