you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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