Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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