i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize