That's when you crack a 10am beer
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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