Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
