nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ok first of all what the fuck
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
