Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
